A meandering medley of moments

Close your eyes.

Place yourself inside the happy polaroid snaps of your early childhood. A meandering medley of moments and days of simple childish pleasure. This is the world we made when we only did things that felt right. Within these glimpsed sepia images, you will find yourself now.

For me, a playhouse made by my Poppa – a veritable playground of making. I made mud pies, magazines and outfits for my dollies. I decorated my walls and windows with homemade paint and leftover fabrics. I made a home – because that’s all I wanted.

 There were dogs – there still are and I still think three is the right number. In our garden there seemed a fairy-tale orchard of twenty-six fruit trees with plums (my favourite) and lemons and apples and oranges (least favourite). Orchards are still my favourite garden, and I would forsake all others for the pleasure of their seasonal weight and bounty. Books – so many books – and all different kinds. I wanted knowledge and I took it in any form. I still do.

I needed moving water – a beach, a river or mud flats – flowing, fluid and powerful.  A salve that is now replaced with the River Thames and the Sussex South coast. And finally, a perfectly executed pale blue dress made by my mum. Chubby brown knees, cotton lace, French seams and real love. These things are where I return when I need comfort as much as imagination.

These snapshots feed how I live now and what I do. It makes perfect sense of course – you can probably see it and feel it. Perhaps at 30 I should have reflected on this more – perhaps many of us should have. Imagine if we could live how our five-year-old version dreamt of.  

So, start now. Think about how you played. Gather it up, shape it into your home and how you live. You’ll find cookbooks and maybe cats. Roses and vintage fabric, pots and a potager. Or a library and a big sky. And you’ll find colours. I know we all instinctively know which colours say who we are. I don’t think they change too much – others may try to worm a different narrative into your head, but you do know. It will be different to your siblings, your other half and most definitely your friends. My colour is pale, greeny-blue. My husband’s is olive, my step-daughter green. We can find the childhood storyline for all of these. You will too.

I have always though that making home is simple. You just need to recall those ‘polaroids’ and give in to your wiser childhood self.